American-talk and woman-talk

Disclaimer: drunk.

My ass lives in Central Europe. My mind lives in a Gutenberg-galaxy of English-language books, media, Internet and whatnot that tends to be so thoroughly dominated by Americans that I might as well say my mind lives in Mediamerica.

One thing I noticed in Mediamerica is how American males – I mean mostly liberals there – tend to use woman-talk. Expressions like “horrified”, “horrifying”, “outraged”, “outrageous”.

I consider this woman-talk, because essentially these all are just different words for complaining. Complaining is a classic female way to solve problems: complain and the man will solve it. Much of feminist “fighting for causes” is complaining: it means if you express something bothers you, a man will fix it. In the less feminist countries in the more eastern parts of Europe this is a recurring joke. How to replace a punctured tire as a woman? Apply lipstick. Wave at passing cars. Smile.

What does it exactly mean to be horrified or outraged? Let’s approach this rationally. (See above: drunk-rationally.) It is feelings, emotions. Are they positive? No. Negative? Yep.

What kinds of negative feelings are appropriate for men? Who are men anyway? It is not just about having something hanging between the legs. Best way to define a man: someone who values himself and is valued by others by what he does, not what he is.

Recipe for being a man: 1) get off the couch and do shit 2) forget the rest.

Anyhoe. Sorry: anyhow.  What are the appropriate negative emotions for a Doer i.e. a man?

1) Anger. I don’t like this obstacle and thus I am gonna remove it.

2) Frustration. I tried removing this obstacle and failed. Tried again and failed again.

3) Tragic sorrow. This obstacle nobody will remove, this is part of human nature / life / conditio humana.

4) Worry / fear for others, far less often than for yourself. People I love have this obstacle and I don’t think I will be able to remove it.

What does “horrified” even mean? I have this obstacle and cannot even try to do anything about it? That is not for a Doer. “Outraged”? Sounds like impotent anger. Why not just be angry and kick some ass?

Thirty thousand years ago, some caveman was surprised by a hungry lion. He was scared, of course. He raised his spear. He figured he cannot defeat it on his own, so he shouted for help, but as long as help arrived, he did what he could, trying to keep the lion at bay with said spear. His attitude, mindset was worry, but also an active kind, a worry closer to anger – he was not paralyzed with fear, he had to do what he had to until help arrived. The best way to describe it he was “stressed out” – but in a way that it did not prevent him from doing what he can.

Thirty thousand year ago, some cavewoman was also surprised by a hungry lion. She was horrified. She just dropped the berries she was gathering, and, paralyzed by fear, she just screamed and screamed. Pretty soon many cavemen were rushing to help her.

A true man is never horrified nor outraged. You see something you hate? Attack or strategically retreat. Maybe negotiate. Challenge or submit. Outsmart it. Button up and fight defensive. Evade and attack later. Hit and run. Lure it into a trap. And so on. There are many strategies of dealing with stuff you hate. Or people. I am of course not saying a true man must charge head-on into shit like a stupid bull. We are humans, we fight with brains.

But horrified and outraged just means screaming because you expect someone else will hear it and drop everything and rush in to help you, like a noble knight on a horse.

And such an expectation is a fucked up attitude for a man to have.

So leave it to women to be horrified or outraged.

And given how easily – mostly liberal – American men, writers, journos, authors throw “horrifying”, “outrageous” and similar woman-talk around,  and yet they still are the leaders of Western civ, as a somewhat peripherical member of Western civ, I am starting to think really seriously that our leadership is lacking the balls.